“We have to learn to appreciate the space between God’s promise and his performance.” – Rev. Howard-John Wesley
I never imagined that the space for this promise would be more than 10 years in the making. I never knew that it would literally take everything in my heart to hold on to this dream when my head and common logic said otherwise. I couldn’t imagine that giving up how I thought it SHOULD look would be the EXACT key for God’s ULTIMATE plan to unfold.
At the top of this year, I was just going to be content with letting this particular dream die. I even wrote a whole blog post about it. MY plan for 2013 was to move back home to Baltimore, buy a rehabbed brownstone, and call it a life. I called and met with several realtors, got my credit score squeaky clean, and diligently saved for a down payment. But for some strange reason, I could never pull the trigger.
This dream’s re-emergence started off as a small whisper in March when I had dinner with a new friend who just so happened to be from Brooklyn. Meh, I just shrugged it off as a mere coincidence.
The whisper got a little louder in April when I began a new job and dead smack in front of my desk is a poster with the Manhattan skyline. Nah, God wouldn’t be that obvious, would he?
The voices got louder as spring turned into summer and I seemingly ran into every, freaking native New Yorker possible in the DC Metro area who all met me with the same question, “Are you SURE you’re not from New York?”
As the summer’s heat yielded to autumn’s leaves, I was still in denial and God literally had to pull out a bullhorn for me to finally get it. I visited the exhibit hall during the Congressional Black Caucus in late September for exactly two hours. I was EXHAUSTED that day and I wasn’t even going to go. But during that fortuitous 120 minutes, I stopped in the bookstore, picked up two new books, and struck up a conversation with a friendly fellow book lover. We were chatting excitedly about African American literature for almost 30 minutes when I suggested that we exchange business cards. I handed her my card first, and she handed me hers second and it turns out that she is one of the most influential book editors in New York.
I looked down at her card, took a deep breath, and thought, “God, I got it. There are no coincidences going on in this exhibit hall right now. I’ll take it from here.”
I held her captive for another almost 30 minutes and I just let all my New York dreams come back to life. She looked me in my eyes and said, “Of course you can move to New York. I did it and so can you!”
Alright, I was inspired and pumped up, but I done told EVERYBODY that I was moving back home to buy a house in Baltimore. How exactly was I supposed to change gears and now set my sights towards creating my dream in New York?
And then it felt like God starring as Morgan Freeman in “Bruce Almighty” stepped down from heaven, parted the seas in my life, and said, “BRING ON FALL 2013!!”
(Hey don’t judge my vision of God. I am THOUROUGHLY convinced that God looks and sounds like Morgan Freeman in my mind. If not, he’s got some SERIOUS explaining to do on the other side of my pearly gates!)
Over the next three months, I had a series of the most difficult and confrontational conversations of my life that literally uprooted EVERYTHING in my world. As I prayed, cried, and prayed some more, the choice became really simple. I could move back to what was warm, comfortable, and familiar or I could finally do IT. I could finally move my visions off the back burner and put them squarely at the center of my life. No more dreaming. This moment right here is THE moment I’d been living for.
So I turned my faith on a million, took some big bad-ass leaps, and decided to set the wheels in motion. And in just a little over a week, the Big Apple will be one curvy, bright, unrelentlessly optimistic, chocolate girl richer. Yes, folks, I’m doing it.
I’M MOVING TO NEW YORK!!
The moving van is reserved, a key for my new space in Brooklyn has been cut, and I’m happy to report that my new neighborhood has three beauty supply stores, a Popeyes, and an Ashley Stewart all on the same block. (Seriously, what more could a fluffy girl ask for??) I’m excited, nervous, anxious, and joyful all at the same time. But I trust that the God who makes Big Apple dreams come true will never, EVER fail me.
I share my journey to New York not to brag or to say that there isn’t a day that I wake up without fear or anxiety about this HUGE leap of faith that I am taking on. I share this with you for the same purpose for EVERYTHING that God blesses me to write: to EMPOWER and INSPIRE YOU to CREATE the life that YOU deserve.
Go ahead and do it, bro. Get your dream rolling to go back to school and take on that new career. This is your year, sister. Dust off that business plan and start that new venture you’ve always dreamed of. Whether its sending out that resume a few more times, setting up your profile on a few dating sites, or making a new commitment for your health and well-being, let 2014 be THE year for you to make your dreams un-deferred.